she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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