if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
