u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are two peas in an std pod
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
