It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
