I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
