So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
