My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
