it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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