I'm eating all of the evidence.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
