So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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