i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Houston, we have a squirter
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
