Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.