Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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