so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?