is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
