she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need water and some morals
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
