actually, I'm a sock model
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
