Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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