I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
