i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
