i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
