you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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