it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
