We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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