ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You need Xanax blowdarts
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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