Just fell off a train. Bad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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