Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
