I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
