I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
