I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
