I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
