And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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