like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
