So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
