Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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