these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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