these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
