yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
