I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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