oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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