I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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