ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My bed smells like the plague
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