You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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