just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize