Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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