Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
