3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he thought i was a dude.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
