this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
