he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
