32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
