sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
