I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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