And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
