Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize