Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
