In the future we'll all be gay
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
