i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
