I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
