Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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