Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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