He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize