return my video game
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
