Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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